Kathryn Parker, transcript, November 28, 2017
Jamie Carnell: I am Jamie Carnell and I am interviewing Kathryn Parker who is a
teacher at Bristol Tennessee High School. It is November 28th and it is 12:35 PM. Okay so the first question is: What part of your personal biography or background led you to this position?Kathryn Parker: Okay, well, really, I think just growing up, I always liked
helping people and you know anything from counseling friends to just being friendly with classmates I didn't know. Trying to make everybody feel included that kind of thing. Really, I think I'm in the teaching profession more because I would like to be a counselor but you know in the class everyday where I see students all the time, rather than just teaching one specific subject, I'm more interested in personal experiences and personal connections and so I feel like that led me to be where I am.J: Okay cool, so what cultural identities experiences are most salient for you?
K: I think just growing up in a big family first of all and with two older
brothers and lots of cousins we are a really tight family so I think that being a part of a community always has help me learn to interact with people and really you know learn how to argue with people and then also know that but I was just one argument and that doesn't define our relationship. And you know figure how to connect to people which I think of something that a lot of people right now don't understand. I also think that being able to travel a lot as a child helped because I got to see that is a great big world out there and that there are all sorts of different types of people so you know seeing people first hand is better and has definitely helped me be able to get along with all different types of people.J: So, would you recommend traveling to anyone who wants to be in a leadership position?
K: oh yeah definitely I mean I think being a leader you have to be able to get
along with people and you have to be able to understand where people are coming from and I mean that's not just traveling abroad, I think even just traveling down the street to people who are different than you, you know what I mean?J: Right.
K: or traveling to our own country and saying that the south is different from
the west and from the north and recognize those differences but still be able to like get along with other people.J: Right, yeah.
K: I went to a summer camp and most of the people that went there actually were
from Ohio. It was in Abingdon but a lot of people are from Ohio and we even had people from France and Puerto Rico and places all around the country in the world so that really helped me understand and get to know the people and not really pay attention to where they're from. So that was a really good experience too.J: That's awesome. So, what would you say- what experiences would you say have
most shaped you as a leader?K: I think as a leader it would be being given chances to lead early on, you
know, so even just in a classroom, being the helper. Right now, my son talks about how "I'm the helper today." I think that that actually gives kids the beginning of being a leader I think that moving on up and being given chances to be a leader in high school with clubs, and organizations and even in middle schools with clubs and organizations, I think that really is an important step and I mean I can't say that I always was a good leader you know I don't know if I'm a good leader now but I think that given those chances you learn something new with being able to look back on all those chances, you realize what you should have done differently and how to connect with people better but I definitely think that the more chances you're given to be a leader, the better leader you're going to be.J: Were you called into leadership or did you seek it because you held
convictions? You had said you were given chances to lead.K: Yeah, I think that especially when you're in elementary, middle, and high
school a lot of times you are given the opportunity just by the way you behave and act and I think that- that was part of it. I also feel like for my profession or my calling, if you will, I feel like I'm called to be in the high school and be, um, going through the some of the toughest years of people's lives with them and hopefully being able to help some of them through that, in whatever small way I can, while also helping them learn life lesson that are really tough to learn. I feel like I'm called to help people through that.J: So, you teach a class called Leadership Challenge, correct?
K: Yes.
J: Could you explain what that class is?
K: Um, so that is where basically I throw children to the wolves. No, I'm just
kidding. We set up partnerships with people around the city of Bristol and we give students the opportunity to go into the city and to learn how to be a leader in whatever placement their given. They help decide where they're going but we have people going to retirement homes, elementary schools, we have people doing a recycling program, so there are all sorts of different things and I think that, a lot of the time, at the beginning of the class they feel helpless, they feel like they don't know how to handle situations but through the problem solving that I kind of make them do, they figure out "Okay well this is how I actually lead. I actually have to do things on my own and not wait to be told." So, I think that class helps students but also has helped me. Every time I it, I think "Okay this is what we need to do better, this is what we need to add, this is what we need to take away." Just to try and give these students opportunities to be leaders.J: So, would you say from the beginning of the class to the very last class, you
see a difference in personality or leadership in the students?K: Most of them, yes. Some of them just, it's not their thing. They just get
through it because they have to. But a lot of them, you know, what I find the most common thread is that a lot of them start the class really shy and they don't want to speak up and then by the end of the class they're more comfortable speaking in front of people, especially the kids who go to the retirement homes. At the beginning, they're always like, "I was kind of afraid of old people" or "I just didn't understand them and now I love them and I want to go back and visit them." They just really develop those relationships and that caring.J: That's awesome. How have you learned from obstacles and challenges faced
before you, kind of got into teaching?8 mins K: Well, definitely, I think one of our best teachers are obstacles. Are
challenges. Because however we get through those, one: we figure out that we actually can get through them, that we have what it takes, we learn something new about ourselves, like "oh I didn't know that I can do that" and then obviously you get through it so you realize "Oh I can" but I think for me a lot of things have affected how I have become more of a leader because, you know, one of the biggest obstacles or challenges, and I'm sure you're going to face this soon, is that question of "What am I actually going to with my life?"J: Yeah.
K: That's the biggest challenge that everybody faces. Some people just know,
some people know what they like but how do they actually live it out? I think that's a huge challenge and one of the things I did is, I actually went in and substituted and I actually got a placement to help this girl who went blind in the seventh grade, she was still in the seventh, she had just gone blind and I was fresh out of Clemson and I had to figure out how to teach this girl, so that was a huge challenge and I just figured out that I really could do it. So, I thought, "Well you know what, this may be something that I actually would like doing" so that was a big challenge that helped me decide what am I going to with my life.J: And you majored in psychology, correct?
K: Correct, yeah, so I majored in psychology and I, originally thinking, do I
want to be a counselor? But then when I actually went around to high schools and figured out what counselors do, not a whole lot is counseling, it's a lot of paperwork, you know, things that are important but for me, I really wanted to make connections.9:57 J: Yeah.
K: So being in the classroom really is the best way to do that, so that's where
I figured out "Well, I love psychology and I love making connections with students so: psychology."J: So how would you characterize your leadership style then?
K: Um, I don't really know. I guess I'm partly laid back, you know, I like for
people to have to figure things out on their own because I think, especially today, and I sound like an old person saying this, but especially today, people are just told what to do all the time.J: Yeah.
K: And a lot of times we don't let you struggle. I mean, even with my own
children, it's hard to let people struggle but I think, like we just said a second ago, in those struggles is how you figure out how to deal with them.J: Right.
K: So, for me, I let people get through that struggle a little bit on their own.
Of course, you know, I'm always here if they have questions or need help in figuring it out but I let people really dig deep into their own character and their own work and figure out how to get through it.J: So, would you say that you would rather be like, sort of backstage and if
they need you, you're there?K: Uh-huh, yes. For sure, yeah, no, I don't, and I'm, you know, the same way
with leading different clubs here and different organizations and things, I, and this is one thing that I try to tell them too, "You should not want to be a leader to get the credit for leading, you know what I mean?J: Right.
K: So, I- yeah. I like to be backstage. I don't like to be in front of
everybody, calling out orders and, you know, I don't want to use the term "primadonna" but that's kind of what comes to mind. That's not really my style, I like them to be the ones who feel important and feel like, you know, they're leading themselves and their group.J: Yeah, that's a good- I like that style. What would you say your professional
strengths and weaknesses are?K: Oh, uh. So, obviously, I mean, it's hard for me, like I've said before, it's
hard for me to not get along with people. I just kind have learned throughout my life to just be able to bite my lip when I need to.J: Right.
K: And be able to coexist with people even if I don't agree with them and
sometimes it's a person we can discuss our disagreements with but sometimes it's a person who, you know, I'm cordial to and that kind of thing so I think that would kind of be a strength because I don't think there's a whole lot of people who would say: "Oh I would not want to work with her" or anything like that, you know?J: Right.
K: I think one of my weaknesses- I've got a bunch of weaknesses.
J: Don't we all?
K: Ha-ha yeah. I mean, I guess just, I kind of go in waves of putting myself out
there to do too many things, and then I get worn out and burned out and then I kind of, you know, it's an ebb and flow.J: Yeah.
K: So, I need to figure out the longevity of being able to help with some things
and say no to others. And I think another weakness that I have is, you know, I make really good connections with some people and I try to make connections with everybody, you know, there are just some people who let you know: "I do not want to talk to you and I do not want to let you into my life" and I just typically take that for what it is and don't push it but sometimes I need to learn how to let them know I'm always open to getting to know them and I struggle with that.J: I gotcha. What or who would you say, has been your greatest influence?
K: So, it just depends on the time, I mean, you know, early on in life,
obviously my mom and dad and my brothers and my family in general. And my teachers in elementary school and Mrs. Pearl Outlaw was amazing. I've had a ton of good teachers. And friends. You know, one of my greatest influences were definitely my good friends and even, bad teachers have been a big influence on me because I've taken that and said "Okay I don't want to be that so I need to try and not be that" which, that kind of sounds weird but it's worked and then as I've gotten older obviously my parents are still and my brothers are still a big influence but my husband and my very good friends, you know, as I've grown more in faith too, I think a big influence is just Jesus and how I should be acting and how should my heart be open to people and that sort of thing.J: Mhm.
K: And of course, my kids now. They teach me something new every day.
J: Would you say there was a turning point where you were like, you were facing
something difficult and you just knew: "This is the path I want to be on"?15:28 K: Yes, definitely. When I graduated from college and was trying to figure
out "what do I want to do in life?" I kept thinking of "okay I could"- and I'm not saying there is anything wrong with these occupations, because there is not, but you know I kept thinking "Oh, I could make jewelry or I could be a travel agent" you know, do all these different things that make the world go around and they're all important but I just kept asking myself, "what's the best thing I can do with my time; what am I really here to do?" and it just kept going back to people and to help other people. Obviously, there are a lot of different ways you can do that. For me, it just worked out that teaching and being in the classroom was the best way for me to do it. And I prayed about it a lot. I think just to hear that guidance and use that in a practical way, definitely.J: Well, leaders help to turn ideas into action and empower others. How do you
accomplish this?K: Oh goodness gracious. That is the hard part. So, this is where my leadership
challenge class gets a little tricky because my students will have ideas and they don't know how to turn them into action so sometimes for me personally, I do a lot of the leg work. Just as an example, the recycling program, which I didn't mind doing this, I called the people, I found somebody who would do it for us, we set up a time to meet. But while we were doing that, I made sure the group who was doing the recycling, that they were there, that they understood what was going on. I actually got them to call some places, I made them run the meeting to decide where to put these bins and stuff so, and I don't know if empower is the right word for it but I just say "You guys need to do this, you can do this, I'm here if you need me"- of course, I was right next to them during the whole thing but I think they figured out, especially now that they've started recycling, they know what they're supposed to do and they know how they should behave and how they should interact with others and they've taken it and run with it. So, it's really been a great experience.J: That actually leads me into my next question, do you feel that it is
important to delegate?K: Oh, yeah. It's hard to delegate though. Especially if you know how you want
it done.J: Yeah.
K: It's very hard to delegate but if it's a big project, you just- you have to.
Like Pink Out. When we do that huge Pink Out game. If I don't delegate, selling five hundred shirts and delivering-J: Ha-ha oh yeah.
K: And decorations and contacting and things like that, it just gets too much so
I have learned. It has taken me a very long time to learn to say "You take this, you run with it, this is vaguely what we need done, you put your ideas into it" and it's turned out pretty well most times. 19:04 J: So, do you- would you say you frequently delegate to most of the organizations and classes that you oversee?K: I try to. I try to delegate. Like our club, I have learned to delegate, our
Anchor club, leadership challenge, I'm pretty good at delegating most things, which recycling program I did have to do some of it but that was the right thing to do, you know?J: Yeah.
K: You can't delegate everything. But I think that it's important to let other
people know that you trust them to do the job that you need done and to look out there and pick out the people you think are going to do a good job and be an example to other people too.J: Yeah. With your students, at least from what I can see from my experience in
high school, and even in elementary school, there's this bit of a struggle between, sort of how it is with parenting where it's you either want to be the friend or be the parent. Do you think there is a struggle between being a leader and being, I guess, a friend?20:25 K: Oh, definitely. That's one of my biggest struggles for sure is, you
know, I want to be somebody that these kids can talk to and feel comfortable with but also, you know, being an adult, I have to try to lead them towards things where they're making good decisions for themselves. Now I know in counseling, you don't ever answer a question and you always ask them "why?" and all that. Well, I am not counseling so I can sometimes give my personal opinion.J: Right.
K: But that's one of the things where it's walking a fine line between making
sure that people listen to you-J: Yeah.
K: -because if you're too much of a friend, they don't listen to you and do
whatever they want so it's kind of one of those things you have to start out really strict and start out pretty strong and then, you know, since we're on semesters you can kind of get easier going and friendlier as the semester goes on.J: Right.
21:27 K: So, yeah, you have to establish- not dominance but you have to
establish control first.J: Do they respond well to that?
K: Mostly. Yeah. You know, I hear people say all the time "I thought you were
really mean but you're so nice though" but that's really before they know me too. But I really do try to start out really strict because if not, I end up at the end of the semester, you know, being crazy. Crazy fun but crazy. Ha-ha.22:00 J: Well, I remember the first time I walked into your class when I was a
freshman, I was terrified, only because I didn't know what to expect and I didn't know you but--K: See, yeah, no, I feel like I do have- since I work with a lot of freshman, I
feel like they don't know anything and I try not to scare everybody but I try to make sure people don't think they're going to be able to walk all over me. I think that has a little bit to do with being a woman also, you know, not that I'm playing the woman card because I'm not, I just think, you know, male teachers typically give off a more dominant stature whereas I need to be sure that everyone knows the rules and knows that I'll enforce the rules.J: Right.
K: We can bend them a little bit but, you know, as the semester goes on.
22:51 J: With your- focusing on leadership challenge with this question, how do
you measure success and if there are failures, how do you learn from them?K: Oh, we've had tons of failures in that class, I mean not like actually
failing their grade but just "Wow, I messed up, this is horrible, how do I fix this?" and with each thing- it's an individual thing and we try to figure out "Okay. Where did we go wrong? How do we need to fix this? Why did this happen?" and when we're talking about measuring success, honestly for me, it's the student and if they tell me they got something out of the class, if they tell me they changed from beginning to end, I think that's a huge success. As far as what they actually get done, that's kind of secondary. I think for me, them feeling like a leader would definitely be success.J: Because right now, them being in high school, it's a time of constant change
and constant growth, so I feel like what they do isn't as important as who they become.K: Yes, exactly, yeah. These little projects and things are fun but they're not
going to remember that but what they might remember is- or, you know, what they get out of it is they feel more comfortable talking to people or they're not afraid to stand up in front of a crowd and speak or they've learned how to stick up for somebody and they might not even realize they got that through this class but just- If they carry that on with them, that's a success, totally.J: So, do you have any action steps that you believe are essential to enable
others to be successful?K: I think you have to just give people chances. You can obviously set up
expectations before giving them chances, so like in this we go through what I expect of them in detail before they ever leave the door. So, they know how they're supposed to behave, they know the standards that I have for them and then I just thin them out, you know, so standards, expectations, and then chances. Chances and chances and chances.J: Great. I love that. What advice do you have for building relationships and
trust in, say any organization or your class?25:24 K: You know, I think for me, trying to build relationships and trust is,
what I said earlier, one: the student has to be open to that relationship. If not, I am still just as friendly, I still try to get to know them. I don't hound them about it or anything. You know, like "Let me in your life!" I don't do that. But I think always being open to something is one way of getting that relationship and then trust is just like anything. If somebody tells you something, you don't spread it around. If somebody needs help, you listen to them. In my job, I listen to people all the time. Stories upon stories upon stories which helps them feel comfortable with me. Knowing that I'm not going to tell anybody and if it's a story where they need help with something that I offer my help, I think it's just like any relationship and any sort of trust that's built. And being in an organization, I don't think that should matter or not, I think you just should be who you are, and who you are should be trustworthy.26:46 J: Oh, I fully see that. Your ability to connect, not only with a big
group of people, like your class but on an individual level is, like, incredible, I'm like a prime example.K: Well, yes. Yes, you are. But you know, I wish I had time to have this type of
relationship with everybody but, as I said earlier, not everyone is open to it, not everyone wants to be that close with somebody else, much less their teacher, and not that there's time to have this type of relationship with everybody. I think it develops naturally typically.J: So, get ready for a big question.
K: Okay.
J: What do you want your legacy to be?
K: Hm. Yeah, that's not an easy one right there. I don't know- I mean I just
think to be remembered as kind and caring and, you know, being a good teacher or not a good teacher, I don't really care about that. I just want people, when they think about me, to just think "Oh man, she was so nice" or "she really helped me" through whatever it is. I mean when I think about my favorite teachers, I don't remember- I mean I'm sure I remember what they taught me but I don't remember specifically what they taught me. I just remember them being warm and caring and loving us and laughing and that's pretty much just what I would want to happen.J: Good, I think that'll actually happen. Ha-ha.
28:31 K: Well, thanks dearest.
J: Since overlooking leadership challenge specifically, how has your leadership
style changed or if it has changed?K: I think I definitely used to be more of a micromanager, for sure. Not
confident in other people and just "Oh, we have to get this right all the time and I'm going to tell you exactly what to do" and more of a "You know, you guys are smart and these are the basic steps that you should be looking at but how you get that done and how you problem solve is on you.J: So, would you say that there is a symbiotic relationship between your
students or constituents and you?K: Yeah, I mean I think there has to some sort of- I think just me giving them
space and me giving them freedom builds that trust because they're thinking, "Oh, she trusts me to do what I I'm supposed to be doing so they take that- they're an adult, they treat themselves like an adult because I'm treating them like an adult, does that make sense?J: Right, yeah. That freedom at a monumental stage in a person's life, like in
high school, will resound with them throughout the rest of their life, whether they go to college or go into the workforce, they'll remember being able to be a leader.K: I hope so.
J: And one last question.
K: Okay.
J: Have any of these leadership positions affected other aspects of your life,
like personally or socially?K: Oh, yeah. They are all interconnected. Especially for me, I mean I know you
can identify, living in Bristol.J: Yeah, ha-ha.
30:52 K: All of my students have parents who I might see somewhere around town
and how I behave in the classroom or how I behave outside of the classroom, should be interchangeable, you know?J: Yeah.
K: Because you don't want somebody to see you out in the public and you do
something crazy and then come into class and be like "Well, I saw you blah-blah-blah" and for me, it's been a lot about being able to be a leader in and out of the class and you know, being the same person Monday and being the same person on Saturday or Sunday, so, I think that being a teacher and being seen as leader is one hundred percent intertwined with being in the community here. And in my family too, I mean, goodness gracious, you know, my kids, I don't ever want them to think that I'm one way and then behave another way.32:00 J: Right, well awesome, thanks so much for giving your time.
K: No problem. Thanks for interviewing me.